The Happyish Homestead

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Trip Down Memory Lane

The winner is #5: The Ker Family "oatmeal cream pies....nasty!"

(I couldn't get the actual thing to come over to my'll just have to trust me.)

Some tell-all Facebook posts:

  • Well, that was disturbing....just finished sweeping the floors.

  • Fortunately, Spencer doesn't seem any worse for wear after Meg snuck him a blueberry....

  • Observation: spilling spaghetti sauce all over the kitchen floor due to inappropriate Tupperware protocol will make you want to say words you are led to believe only sailors use.

  • Something that I just said and hope to never say again: "Adeline, get out of the chicken coop....

  • Feeling optimistic about the day....never mind....just heard the girls wake up

  • Thinking of joining a nudist colony...I'm working under the assumption that there would be way less laundry....

  • I just saw the most disgusting thing on infomercial for a meatloaf pan....complete with pictures of made me throw up a little.

  • To all of you obnoxiously, happy people that love Mondays....please stop posting.

  • I went to confirm, and it's true. A bird flew into our massive window and now lays dead in the grass. I secretly hope it's the %^*& woodpecker that's been systematically making holes in our house.

  • Some days I secretly wish that I was the babysitter and that I'm just waiting for the parents to get here so I can go home.

  • Dear Bryce, Please be advised there is a massive dead rat in our basement. I wish you all the luck in taking care of that when you get home, while I shut myself in my bedroom, refusing to witness it.

  • Note to anyone interested, do not, I repeat DO NOT Google "pictures of maggots", nightmares....

  • Question: how much chocolate is too much chocolate to eat in one sitting...?

  • To the zipper on my favorite carpi's...please stop embarrassing me.

  • Next time I decide to do family pictures, I'm not inviting the family.

  • Just thought I'd throw it out there...does anyone want to supervise my children while I finish my book...?

  • Will be accepting "Save the Children" donations...

  • Some of you reading this will think Why? Why is she posting something like this? My answer: if I can help one person, just one, it is worth it. A burp cloth and band-aids are NOT a good substitute for a diaper.

  • I burnt myself with the curling iron, people. And even if it was something else, and I'm not saying it is, it's perfectly legal since I'm married.

  • Congratulations are in order....I just cleaned my oven for the first time. Who buys an oven that's not self cleaning anyway? Stop the madness.

  • Married, white, female seeking long term relationship with sanity. Must be willing to commit (until Adeline moves out of the house) and like children. Should enjoy two long busy seasons and dysfunctional family. MUST show up every two years for potty training. Send all inquiries...please.

  • LOST: Patience....Last seen - sometime before busy season and potty training. It's a small amount so keep your eyes open for it. If you can't find it but happen to have some chocolate, that's fine too. Please contact me. FOUND - some sticky spots on my kitchen floor. If they are yours, come and get them, I'll be holding them for you. They're certainly not mine!

  • I looked it up....apparently today is not National-Husbands-Take-Their-Kids-To-Work-Day-So-Their-Wives-Don't-Cause-The-Kids-Permanent-Bodily-Harm Day. Maybe tomorrow.


Friday, August 26, 2011


Another giveaway.

The problem can't know what it is.

I'm making something for the sister's weekend that I mentioned in a previous post.

And since my sisters read my blog, or at least I think they do, I can't mention anything about it so it will be a surprise.

If you want to win 'this special something', you have to:

  • Be a follower.

  • Comment telling me what food just thinking about makes you throw up a little.

  • Enter by Tuesday evening.

I'll announce the winner on Wednesday's post.

The winner will be randomly selected.

Good luck.


Wednesday, August 24, 2011

What I Realized....

as I was canning peaches for six hours after the kids had gone to bed and Bryce was out of town on Monday night:

  • I'm a little bit afraid of the dark. The kitchen light went out twice.

  • Old, squeaky floors make me nervous at 12am in the morning.

  • I've watched too many episodes of Law & Order: SVU.

  • I'm an eternal optimist...I thought for sure I would be done canning 85 lbs of peaches by 11pm.

  • I'm took till 2am.

  • I'm lazy. I would rather put freezer jam in a quart jar that is clean then walk down stairs to find a pint and then have to clean it.

  • I'm not a fan of fruit flies.

  • I find my basement a little bit scary.

  • Just because you like a certain type of music, that doesn't mean it's great for canning peaches.

  • Beatles: not peach canning music. Jon Bon Jovi: peach canning music.

  • Ice makers go 'thump' in the night.

  • I can come up with a lot of blog post ideas when I have only peaches to distract me.

  • I can forget about a lot of blog post ideas when I haven't gotten enough sleep.

  • I'm thorough....I did all of the dishes and cleaned up all of the mess before I went to bed.

  • I am not a jar broke in the water bath the first batch and I refused to switch the now all of the jars are sticky.

  • Some honey the one that flew into the kitchen....are completely clueless about the bee curfew.

  • If you plan to sleep in the next morning....your kids will wake up earlier than normal.


Friday, August 19, 2011

Not A Project Post

I didn't get one single project accomplished this week.

Daily routine got the best of me.

I'm focused on getting the rest of the paint scrapped off the windows before I move onto anything else.

I did get started on my Sister's Weekend stuff, though.

My sisters, sisters-in-law, and my mom started doing a Sister's Weekend.

We each pick a project, the same one for everyone, and then we send it to everyone with in a week period. So you get like seven different packages in one week. It's pretty fun to see what ideas everyone comes up with.

Last year I sent everyone the vintage yo-yo hair accessory.

Here's to hoping you all have a great weekend.


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

A Bit of a Brag

The girls doing a fashion show, working their wood bead and button necklaces

Tuesday started out as one of those days....

The kind where Adeline had wet the bed...not just wet the bed...but managed to pee on every possible layer of bedding....the bedding that I had just washed in full 24 hours previously.

The kind where Meg had eaten something the night before and was feeling a 'little pukey'. I had cleaned up puke from so many different places...did I mention I have a strong reflux muscle?

The kind where I was on the verge of telling Bryce I was switching jobs with him because I was pretty confident that anything I was dealing with was way harder than breaking the news to someone that they owed thousands of dollars in back taxes....

And it was only 8:30am.

But then I bucked up and decided to parent.

I put together some stations for the girls to do.

They were 15 min. each and we had five of them, each in a different part of the house:


School work with Mom


Computer games


It was awesome.

I know it sounds like a day care type idea....but let's face it, people, I'm getting to that point.

Sometimes instead of doing a station, Meg just helped me with some household chores....

The girls loved it and have been begging to do it again.

It was a proud moment for me.


Monday, August 15, 2011

Real Life

The reality is:

  • I have nothing fun or exciting to post today.

  • I could tell you about the sad disappearance of some fresh strawberries that someone left on the counter well out of reach of any regular two year old.

  • I don't have a regular two year old. I have a two year old who is devious enough to realize mom is MIA feeding Spencer and that the only thing that stood between her and some super expensive strawberries that we were saving for yogurt parfaits was....a stool.

  • Meg is a liar.

  • when she was brought into questioning (with strawberry juice smeared on her forehead and dripping down her shirt) she denied the whole criminal act.

  • Spencer has learned to roll over.

  • he only roll overs when he is supposed to be napping and can't go to sleep on his back to save his life...or mine for that matter.

  • we bought a lot of stuff at a plant nursery which was having a huge sale.

  • we came home with 8 blueberry bushes.

  • we could by a persimmon tree if we wanted to.

  • chickens are really funny, and little bit naughty, kind of like some other people around here.

  • Adeline's 'chicken-playing' rights have been revoked till later this week.

  • I finally bound two quilts this last week.

  • one of those quilts I already put on a bed.....two months ago.

  • no matter how early in the day I start laundry or how much I have, it still takes the same amount of time.

  • pee, poop, and throw up can make my life a living %&#@.

  • I will be renting Jane Eyre from Redbox some time this week.


Monday, August 8, 2011

Now and Then

This week Bryce and I will be celebrating our eight year if anyone wants to take our kids so we can go out....

I thought I would do a brief comparison of what it our marriage was like back then, and what it is like now:


(note written to Bryce at the early part of our marriage...warning: extremely mushy)

My Dearest Bryce,

I love you. I am so glad that I married you, you make me so happy.

You've given me things that I lived without just fine before, but will never be able to live without again.

Thank you for your love, patience, goodness, example, righteousness, personality, hard work ambition and sincerity.

I love you with all of my heart.

Your wife,



(email sent to Bryce on Friday)

5 reasons why I should not have to fulfill my dinner responsibilities this evening:

  1. We have no food in our house because I cannot summon the courage to take four children to the grocery store.

  2. Meg took off her diaper and peed in her panties at nap time.

  3. She took off those panties and put on new panties and pooped in those panties.

  4. I had to clean off Meg's leg, foot, bum, and panties.

  5. I hate the Medford Irrigation District.


Whatever you decide.

*Please note that Bryce came home with dinner, a movie, and ice cream...


Thursday, August 4, 2011

Stickin' It To The Man Project

Sometimes I have a lot of self confidence.

Other times, not so much.

One of those times is when I go to quilt group.

I feel like a complete outsider.

Something to do with the fact that I am not independently wealthy, going to be independently wealthy, or related to anyone that is independently wealthy.

So instead of wallowing in self pity, I'm going to glory in my differences.

Here's my stickin'-it-to-the-man quilt.

The quilt that I made where 99% of the fabric is from an estate/garage sale, free, or from Joann Fabric. Those women 'don't go to Joann's'.

The quilt that I made is completely random and I didn't pick out a pre coordinated fabric kit from a local quilt store and it will not be backed with Minky.

I made this quilt, not in a sewing room, but on a table in my sun room while the girls fought over toys, Meg did play dough or colored and Spencer played on the floor.

This quilt was ironed with an iron that is over 8 years old.

I will not be paying some one to quilt this quilt for me.

It was sewn using a needle that was too big because I had broken all of my other needles while attempting my first machine quilted project, Spencer's baby blanket.

And my machine is not a Bernina.

When I showed the 'ladies' the quilt....?....."That's actually cute."

Um, thanks?


Wednesday, August 3, 2011


If you knew Spencer, you'd know:

  • He's never peed on me.

  • He has peed over his head, past the edge of the changing table, and into a basket of toys on the floor, but not on me.

  • He has also peed in his eye during bath time. The washcloth is now specifically placed over certain areas.

  • He loves, loves, loves to get his diaper changed.

  • He enjoys a good fist: his fist, your fist, it doesn't matter.

  • He's naked from about 3pm till's hot here people.

  • He sleeps on his belly.

  • He has learned to roll over from his belly to his back, in the middle of the night, and then wakes up crying.

  • He is the best baby to date about eating cereal and liking it right off.

  • He likes Project Runway.

  • He yaks everyday at lunch. We're usually at the school cafeteria taking advantage of the free lunch program. I just tell the lunch ladies that someone spilt some milk.....

  • He is a shameless flirt. He likes the older women.

  • He takes a pacifier.

  • He has a lot of patience.

  • He likes taking baths. So much, that on more than one occasion he's stayed in there so long I had to put new hot water in.

  • He's been sleeping through the night since he was nine weeks...from about 8pm-7am.

  • Sometimes he can go all day with out crying...which is more than I can say about some other people around here.


Monday, August 1, 2011

Smocked Pillow In The Round

I've never smocked anything before in my life....but for a cute little pillow like this, I'd do it again.

That is the only project that I accomplished last week....if you don't count the little bags that the girls and I made for their Littlest Pet Shop animals and accessories.....oh, and I scraped a lot of windows.


P.S. If there is enough sincere interest....I'd be happy to post a tutorial.