The Happyish Homestead

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Reason #5,682

The subject that I am about to broach may polarize my readers. However, I am ready to take that risk. I feel like a wise veteran after approximately 7.5 months of blogging. I feel that you will be sympathetic and forgiving if this does not go as planned.

Put the toilet seat down.

I could name countless reasons: it's un-sanitary, un-safe, expensive if anything of size is 'accidentally' flushed down the dark abyss, dirty, and un-American.

I could use the same argument for putting the toilet seat down as the great philosophers of our world have used for the existence of God. Can you prove that God does not exist? Can you prove that it is better to keep the toilet seat up?

I think not.

Reason #5,682 to put the toilet seat down: your one year old may or may not be so impressed with the novelty of little paper cups in the bathroom at her grandma's house that she will be able to devise her own ways of getting water with which the cup was intended and head straight for the toilet with, you guessed it, the toilet seat up. Your one year old will of course have you right there in the bathroom with her and as you turn away for a time that is less than a split second, she has dunked cup, hand, and arm into a toilet bowl full of water that is slightly tinted yellow.

You will say "Si-ck!" as you mop up the mess. To which your three year old will ask if your one year old is sick. And you, never allowing to let a parenting moment slip by, will reply by saying, yes, yes, she is sick, so don't you ever drink water out of the toilet either.

Hoping you have a better way of building up your children's immune systems, and if you have a similar experience, not that I'm wishing that on anyone, feel free to join the conversation with a comment,



  1. It sounds like you've also found reason #5,682 to FLUSH the toilet. And reason #1 to move those cute little bathroom cups out of reach.

  2. Been there, done that too many times to count. When Mary did it all I had to do was buy one of those door knob thingies that little kids can't open. Unfortunately, even if you put the lid down they eventually figure out how to open it. And once one kid is potty trained you can't make the door difficult to open because then they'll pee right outside the door.

    On the plus side... I'm very glad to hear from you again. We miss you tons and tons, but at least now maybe we'll have your blog to look forward to again.

  3. Unfortunately, this isn't about one year olds, but about 8 and 10 year olds that should know better (also, this is not about leaving the seat up, just about the toilet in general).

    If your older (and seemingly wiser) sister suggests it would be fun to see how much toilet paper could be put into the toilet and should say no. Also, if you happen to say yes, and things go badly (surprising, I know), you should never use a broom to try and push the toilet paper down the hole.

    Thanks Sis!

  4. I have a one-year-old and I sympathize ;(

  5. Glad to have you back, missed your posts. Haven't had that fun opportunity yet, but I am sure that I will in a few more months!

  6. Pee is better than poop! My friends 1 year old twins were roaming the house while she was unloading the groceries. When she came back inside she was greeted by both boys who appeared to have chocolate on their faces and arms. Oops! Big sisters forgot to flush their poo, and so it got eaten. :)
    And yes, I am the big sister who suggested seeing how much tp could be flushed and then shoving it down with the broom. It was a highly interesting scientific experiment. Emily, you should never argue that I didn't teach you anything. By the way....did you ever get that "peeing while standing ON the toilet seat" down?

  7. Cayson is now potty training, and yesterday dropped a car in the toilet that I had to fish out. I don't care if the water is clean or not! I know what goes into that thing!


You're a valued reader, thanks for your comments, they help keep me sane....