The Happyish Homestead

Friday, May 28, 2010

Numer 9

The youngest of the bunch graduated on Monday. (It's a small town, they can do stuff like that.) In honor of this special occasion, I'm going to list some of the things that Andy had to survive, being the youngest of 9. I'm sure I will neglect to mention some things, so feel free to chime in with any additions.
  • A broken leg. Cause: Older brother throwing another sister on top of him, while on the trampoline.

  • A dog bite, a really serious one.

  • Being forced to dress up with another sister, they were like 1 and 3 at the time, and forced to pose while another sister held up a plant for background and another sister took the picture. I was not an active participant in this fiasco.

  • Stacy and Christy. If you knew these two, you would realize what a feat it is he survived as their younger brother.

  • Constant queries by his father about his non-existent relationship status with any number of girls. Not that the girls weren't interested....

  • Being car-less, 1 hour away from anything.

  • An occasional dunking of the head in dirty dishwater by yours truly. It was in an effort to keep him humble.

  • Corn topping. I think almost all of us did this mundane crop task.

  • Awful haircuts. Nobodies fault really.

  • Nephews constantly calling him "Uncle Anny".

  • Short pants with white socks. I don't know why this sticks out in my mind. Where were the concerned, older sisters?

  • Getting his Eagle, the one and only to do it.

  • Mr. Mustang. He and his friends did a really cool skit performing the chimney sweeps's dance on Mary Poppins in front of the whole school. It's pretty neat.

Congratulations, Andy!


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

An Attempt

Dear Sirs and Madams,

The following document is an actual account from my youth. I will be retelling the event in mock Victorian prose. I currently have no actual historical basis for my verse, excepting the fact that I have a literary love affair with one, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy.

During my years in school, I was an innocent and a young man, who shall remain nameless to protect his reputation, and mine, had been courting me. We had come into acquaintance while participating in the sport of track and field.

Our courtship consisted of covertly holding hands on the bus rides to and from the meets and frequent visits to the local theater. This young man was of the working class and employed at a sandwich bistro.

After one such date - time has dimmed my recollection - him and I were making an effort at polite conversation after he had returned me safely home to my parent's residence.

And then I shudder to think what happened next. He tried to take advantage of me and the situation. I called my faculties to the present and - in a very unladylike manner - restrained his attempt by firmly placing my hands on either side of his head and forcing it backwards. He plainly did not receive the message I was sending and attempted another kiss. I can not recall the conversation that took place afterwards, although one may assume that is was awkward at best.

When he next requested an outing, I politely declined and ended the courtship. My parents, I am sure, were thankful for he did not have a large estate nor a large fortune.

Happily married to my first kiss,


Monday, May 24, 2010


Some of you might think that the title is my age, but you would be wrong.

25 things about me that are true, but I wish they weren't:
  1. I have a big nose, and it's only going to keep getting bigger.

  2. Sometimes I yell at my kids.

  3. I am not patient.

  4. Not every idea of mine is a good idea.

  5. I have no more money for home improvement stuff.

  6. I'm frustrated that no one told me how great short hair is.

  7. I can't grow corn for the life of me. I can grow the stalks, can't grow the ears.

  8. I let my kids watch one movie a day.

  9. Sometimes if I'm changing Meg and I get a little bit of residue gets on the new diaper, I just wipe it off, rather than getting a whole new diaper.

  10. I haven't read a book or finished a quilt in weeks.

  11. I watched New Moon, it was awful.

  12. I check my e-mail obsessively.

  13. I crave root beer, and then when I have a 2 liter in the fridge and I forget it's there.

  14. I'm lazy about cleaning my bathrooms.

  15. The garage smells like diarrhea diapers. This isn't about me, but I'm guilty by association.

  16. I haven't finished registering Elizabeth for kindergarten.

  17. I like Twinkies, I know they're awful for you and are made from a bunch of fake stuff, but I don't care.

  18. I'm an indifferent seamstress.

  19. Not a perfectionist in the least.

  20. I've watched High School Musical a couple of times and liked it.

  21. I'm probably going to stink up the 100 6 week push up challenge.

  22. I'm slightly terrified of the snakes that are living in our yard, not that I don't appreciate their skills.

  23. Sometimes I'm a horrible daughter, mom, wife, and/or friend.

  24. I can be terribly selfish.

  25. I like to sleep in till 7am.

That was harder to talk about myself than I thought it was going to be. I'm usually good at that kind of thing.

A side note, this was a Monday post and I didn't once mention painting. Well, until now...


Friday, May 21, 2010

This Week

So today I'm opting to do a post about things that I have loved this week. The other option was to do a rant post about the horrible customer service from a garage door company that made me call Bryce and cry, or the car battery dieing so I couldn't go to the museum with my friend or about two year old tantrums or about run on sentences.

Things I am loving
  • New flip flops. Did you know I hadn't bought a new pair since high school? Embarrassing.

  • Burger King coupons. I know some people are not Burger King fans, I am not that person.

  • Planting my garden and weeding my flower bed. (It hailed the next day...)

  • Meg. That kid is funny.

  • Adeline's pigtails.

  • Elizabeth. She hasn't done anything outstanding this week, but she's pretty great.

  • Bryce. I always love Bryce, but he's been especially patient with my raging, unpredictable, why-are-you-crying-about-this-?, intense hormones.

  • Our neighborhood garage sale. I'm not participating, unless you count monetarily.

  • Painting.

  • A big fat check from Costco that will help us buy a camera. It's going to be great....

  • Homemade ice cream sandwiches. I won't post the actual recipe, but let's just say it contains chocolate ice cream, chocolate cookies, marshmallow creme, and Twix.

  • Push ups. It hasn't officially started, but Bryce and I are going to attempt a six week push up challenge by the end of which we will be able to do 100 push ups. Current count? 12 (I can't believe I just posted that about myself.)

  • Hobby Lobby. There's a sale going on now where some of their stuff is 60% off. I bought a couple of things. (Couple used in the loosest sense.)

  • Blooming flowers.

  • Round up, the weed killer, not the cattle job.

  • My new rug. Bryce bought me a huge shag rug for Mother's Day. I don't know how I lived without it before.

  • My haircut. Not to brag, but a couple of people have said in passing that I look like a hot 16 year old nanny. By a couple I mean one.

I am looking forward to a warm, sunny hail-less/hell-less weekend.

Till Monday,


Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Preaching to the choir on this post. Below I'm going to list a series of reasons on why people should read my blog. Just in case, someday, in passing, one of your friends asks you if you know about a ridiculously awesome blog and you can reply 'Why, yes, yes I do.' and then reference them to this post.

It makes you feel better about yourself. At least you don't attempt to take three girls with three strollers on a walk, amateurs.

It's consistent. When you're not posting and when no one else is posting, I am. I'm as regular as bathroom breaks.

Random, outdated pictures. I don't know if this is a plus or a minus, but it is a matter of fact.

It's funny?

I talk a lot about painting.

It helps you to sympathize with Bryce. Poor guy.

Now that I'm writing this post, there are not as many reasons as I thought. Oh well.

Read on, read on,


Monday, May 17, 2010

Be Prepared

This is a quick post, it's Monday, it's nice out and I'm anxious to get some painting done. This is a 'stating the obvious' post, which will be, well, obvious, once you read it.

Things you should not run out of:
  • Cereal

  • Toilet paper

  • Napkins

  • Milk

  • Patience

  • Friends

  • Books

  • Chocolate

  • Ideas for one's blog

  • Working pens

  • Butter

  • Flour

  • Clean underwear

  • Lightbulbs

  • Batteries

  • Hair

  • Money

  • Gas

  • Bread

I ran out of a couple of these things this week, I'm hoping to remedy that soon. I'll give you a hint, it's not the clean underwear.


Friday, May 14, 2010


Why I love Adeline.

Elizabeth has been taking swimming lessons and as a result we've had a lot of conversations about the merits of eyes.

You know, like how Ariel is able to see under water, and if we are able to see under water, and how prairie dogs can see under ground, and if octopuses can also see under water, and if one has to have special eyes to see under water and so forth.

So I was taking Adeline potty and she went poop. Fascinating I know. When she turned around to look at her deposit she asked if her poop can see under water.

Happy weekend,


Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I crave change. Well, I crave change in small, measurable, controlled amounts. Why? I have no idea. Be that as it may, I've been changing things in my house. At first I thought it was wrong, like maybe I was coveting and being ungrateful for the things that I have. But, as we all know I an not an ungrateful person, so I resolved my issues and went for the change. This will mainly be a post of pictures with things that I have changed around my house. There are no before pictures, you'll just have to trust me that the after pictures are an improvement. Remember I only lie about Christmas presents.
First, up, hair cut. Don't worry, I know I still look like I'm 12.
Plants that are still alive after a month in.
Meg's new room.
Cool, right? The locker, not the magnet, although that's cool too.
New fancy, shmancy pillows. I'm embracing the white couch, since it's not going anywhere for a while.
Ta-da. So briefly, I painted the doors and the fireplace rock thingy, and re-did the mantel decor, which you wouldn't know since I have no before picture.
New wreaths on doors. Narnia here we come.
Um, I'd like to think this looks cooler in person, but it may not. Those are oval frames with old pictures in them hanging from snazzy door pulls.
New scale.

I changed my friend Beth's lilac bush by cutting these off for her. (I borrowed her camera to favor you all with updated pictures.) Generous, I know. I scored that vase at the thrift store. That for sure is way cooler in person. It feels very English cottage.
Next time, just come and visit and you can see all the improvements.
Awaiting visitors,

Monday, May 10, 2010


(This is my mom, isn't she cute?)

Bryce and I talk about my blog quite a bit. A lot of the time it is him making fun of me, at other times it's him complaining about being mentioned yet again. (I told him he could do a guest post sometime.) The latter I tell him is a consequence of him being married to a comedic genius. Anyway, he mentioned that my post on Friday sounded ungrateful.

Now I may be plain, short, blunt, tactless, intimidating, lazy about cleaning the shower, sarcastic, generous to a fault, and brilliant, but ungrateful I am not. I write posts like Friday's to keep things 'real'. No one wants to read a blog where every post is about my overly obedient children, that sometimes Bryce calls me Martha or Betty or sometimes a combination of the two, and that I'm just steps away from having my home featured in a world renowned DIY magazine.

So with all of that, here is a grateful post in response to Friday's.

I'm grateful that Adeline is potty trained 90% of the time.

I'm grateful that Elizabeth is a free spirit and is not dictated by social norms or the rising and setting of the sun.

I'm grateful that I'm healthy most of the time and Meg is too.

I'm grateful that I don't live in Mississippi, the state or the road.

I'm grateful that my kids don't realize what a lame mom I am and that most every thing we do is free.

I'm grateful I have a spacious, well stocked kitchen where I can let the creative juices flow for dinner 13 nights in a row.

I'm grateful that I have hair, that I don't unknowingly have a malicious roommate who I allowed to bleach my hair and she kept it on too long and my hair started falling out in chunks so I ended up shaving it. (This happened to a friend of mine, if she's still my friend after this.)

I'm grateful that I can garage sale and get great deals on things like a mouse sander.

I'm grateful that we have very precise and educated meteorologists who always have the capacity to tell me things I don't want to hear.

And I'm grateful to those of you who offered to take my children.

By the way, I'm getting my hair cut today. It's going to be awesome, if I don't chicken out.


Friday, May 7, 2010


If you're going to judge me or be unsympathetic, don't bother commenting. This is a pity party.

It's hard to be optimistic when:

Elizabeth and Adeline woke up at 5:20am because Adeline was crying. Why was Adeline crying? Because she peed the bed.
Elizabeth never went back to sleep.

I'm sick. Sick like use-a-whole-roll-of-toilet-paper-every-hour sick. I just read that sentence over. I meant for blowing my nose, not something else.

Meg is sick.

No one drives faster that 30mph on Mississippi. The road not the state. Why is that? You may think that this is irrelevant, but let's pretend it is.

I'm running out of fun ideas that don't cost any money to do with the girls.

I have to cook dinner again tonight. I'm on like a 13 night streak here.

I really just want to pawn my girls off on someone so I can go to Home Depot, Hobby Lobby, and/or Target by myself. All of my friends are nursing, pregnant, or may become pregnant. Note to self, one kid is much easier to pawn off than three.

I'm tired of doing my hair. I'm thinking about cutting it, surprise, surprise. I'm thinking about cutting it like the girl's hair on the show Castle. The hair cut from last season, this season's looks like a mullet. I would put a picture on my blog, but I'm incompetent and don't know how to do that.

One of my painting projects has paint drips so now I have to sand it.

It won't stop freezing. I have a gazillion plants to put in the ground.
My favorite pair of jeans is now sporting a hole in one of the knees.

Looking forward to nap time already,


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Naked Ladies

I know that their name is Bare Naked Ladies, but I thought that that title would be a bit more interesting.

So, the song If I had a Million Dollars by the Bare Naked Ladies has been on the radio quite a bit lately. In honor of that classic song, I thought I would do a post about what I would do if I had a million dollars. Spoiler Alert: I am not as generous as that infamous (more than famous) band so very few items on this list are for other people.

  • Put new carpet in our house. Midnight blue and blood red might do it for some people, I am not that person.

  • A new rug for the family room.

  • A maid.

  • A cruise.

  • I would hire the people who do What Not To Wear to outfit me with a new wardrobe. I'd like to think that I don't qualify for that show, but I might need a bit of help.

  • A personal chef.

  • I'd pay Bryce a handsome amount to get rid of his hideous, ghetto, why-would-anyone-own-one pheasant lamp.

  • A trampoline.

  • A plasma TV.

  • The sailboat picture at Unique Thrift Store.

  • I'd donate a large amount to research to find out why two year old kids have tantrums, and how to make it stop.

  • I'd hire someone to potty train my kids, not the ones that are already potty trained, obviously.

  • A personal hair stylist, by that I mean someone to do my girls' hair. That becomes a bit tiresome.

  • I'd pay a movie company to put me in a period piece movie, like Pride and Prejudice, as an extra.

Um...I think that's it.


Monday, May 3, 2010


Some of you, like 2, have commented on my last statement of my latest post. The paint comment. I would like to clarify: I am always painting. Well, not always. But a lot of the time. I would paint more often but sometimes it takes a while for me to persuade Bryce that every idea I have is a good idea. I'm sure some of you can relate.

Bryce and I bought a bedroom set at an estate sale for a great deal. I was going to say killer deal, but I'm not a 'killer' type person. Anyway, good deal. So we had to arrange some things in the girls' bedrooms. By some things I mean all things. Of course that got me to thinking that other rooms needed a change.

And then we had a garage sale and tried really hard to get rid of lots of things. The general population was not overly helpful so quite a bit went to our neighbors and then to Goodwill.

Also a lot of ladies at church are having babies, and they're nesting. Nesting is contagious. I'm not even bringing home a baby this year and I'm organizing.

So there you have it. I'm busy painting. If spray painting is wrong, I don't want to be right. Don't worry, that sounded just as lame in my head as it did to those of you reading it.