All in a Day’s Work

Looking for princes…

Never Tired Of:

• looking in on my sleeping children
• nap time
• date night
• restaurants
• talking to the chickens
• looking for eggs
• reading books
• singing in the car
• having dance parties
• root beer
• snuggling
• watching home improvement channels
• having a clean floor
• sewing
• summer
• sun tans
• real Christmas trees
• birthdays
• fresh flowers
• gardening
• listening to my kids laugh
• tickling
• painting
• working on 'projects' with Bryce
• talking to friends on the phone
• reading comments on my blog
• receiving mail
• eating bread sticks
• having a warm shower
• having a full fridge and stocked pantry
• using the miter saw
• garage sales
• hot chocolate
• having visitors
• coupons to Joann
• trying something new

Katie

P.S. I'm contemplating no longer blogging....

What I Know

• sometimes your husband will steal your pillow, right out from under your head, while you're sleeping.
• when you quote the line "Guys, Chad fell down." from the movie That Thing You Do, with a friend, it's funny.
• when you quote the line "Guys, Chad fell down." from the movie That Thing You Do, with a friend, and there's actually a Chad walking behind you, which you didn't realize, it's even more funny.
• if you're having insulation blown in your house, and there's a hole in the wall, the insulation will blow all over your daughter's bed.
• if your kid cries after you dole out a punishment, you should feel pretty proud of yourself.
• if you have a really, really, really old grape arbor and people walk underneath it, it will eventually fall on someone.
• Downton Abbey is highly addictive and totally worth all the hours I put into it.
• it's pretty easy to get in over your head in projects when everything at Joann is 50% off AND you have a 20% off your total purchase coupon.
• I am over my head in projects.
• I love fried chicken.
• I can get excited when I go to the local farm/garden center and they're announcing new chicks coming soon.
• I would never fry one of my chickens I raised.

Katie

Disney - Homewrecker

My kids have not been great at going to sleep at bedtime lately.

Ever since Christmas Break.

I had a mental breakdown about it last week.

I was cranky in the anticipation that my sleep deprived girls would be cranky.

Bryce was cranky because I was cranky because I was worried my kids were cranky.

And I had no control whatsoever.

I took away: kindness, TV, snacks, patience, treats, and freedom.

To no avail.

What keeps those kids up at night?

Ariel, Eric and their daughter, Melody.

They play it constantly.

Last night it got out of control.

Adeline slapped Meg in the face.

Resulting in lots of crying

and a bloody nose

and stained pjs and bedding.

Why?

Meg, the baby, wouldn't listen.

Needless to say, lots of lecturing this morning, from all fronts, to all children.

So Disney, please keep your scantily clad, perfectly complexioned princesses, shallow princes, and short love stories, and talking {insert whatevers} to yourself.

We've had about all we can physically handle over here.

Katie

Pieces of Reality

• I had to buy a new tooth brush last night.
• Elizabeth said my old one either dropped in the trash can, in the toilet, or on the floor by the toilet.
• The fabric that I want to buy to use for the reading nook curtain is $32.99 a yard.
• In Oregon, people don't use bike trailers for children.
• They use them for their dogs and/or garbage.
• Our neighbor whose dog killed our chicken offered to buy us a new one.
• A new baby chick does not replace a mature, trained, egg-laying chicken named Sophie.
• Spencer is teething.
• I am sick.
• The children are sleep deprived.
• Bryce's birthday celebration was underwhelming.
• I have to clean my dining room floor.
• I wish I could go back to bed.
• I wish I had maid service.
• I finally put my house back together after taking down Christmas decorations.
• I wish I could let my children watch TV guilt-free so I could sew something.
• I wish it was spring.

Katie

10 Facts About Christmas Break

1. on the first day, as you're sneaking presents into the basement, you will find a dead mouse rat. {You will call your husband, leaving him a message with strict instructions of what needs to be done when he gets home. You will call back and leave another message suggesting maybe he should come handle the situation during his lunch break.}


2. Elizabeth will sing Jingle Bells non-stop.


3. Sometimes in a western accent.


4. Elizabeth will sing Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer, non-stop.


5. Sometimes in falsetto.


6. Your children will sleep in till 7:15 the first morning.


7. They will wake up at 6 am the next morning.


8. Your husband will try to get his precariously-secret-keeping children to tell him what they got him for Christmas.


9. You will yell at your husband for this.


10. You realize that as you list off the hundreds of things for your children to do because they say they are bored that they have too many toys and you wonder why you bought them anything for Christmas...

Katie

Introspection

What I've learned:

• if you go cut down your own Christmas tree, what you save in money will be used up with patience.



• people who get lost in the woods do not have a inappropriately dressed four year old crying about being cold holding on to your coat as you slip down the frost covered mountain.



• promises of cold, stale crackers waiting in the car are a big enticement to keep the kids from whining.



• decorated and lit trees safely secured in a tree stand can tip over.



• lights that you got from your husband's grandparent's basement eight years ago will eventually burn out.



• Fred Meyer has a great selection of Christmas tree lights.



• a baby cannot discern the difference between a tree ornament and a real ball.



• if you hear the tree tip over and a baby crying, you will conclude that the tree fell on the baby.



• a baby can cry with out having a Christmas tree fall on him.



• if you have an advent calendar, children who are supposed to be taking a nap, ahem, can sneak the peanut butter M & M's.



• they cannot really deny this when you catch them with blue lips or when you hear one drop on the floor and roll down the stairs.



• a surprise date planned by your husband where you go out and come back and the kids are all in bed, is a great remedy to a lot of things.



• Christmas is my favorite time of year.

Katie

Please note: while there are no pictures of me, we can all assume that I looked awesome.

My Sister Came to visit....

and it was super fun!

Katie

The Reality of Playdates

Last week was a little bit rough.

To lessen the stress, I set up a couple of playdates.

It was all fun and games, until the people left.

Now I have a pile in my house of things that don't belong to me.

A car.

Some wipes.

Another car.

A pair of clothes?

And a plate.

Now the fun begins.

I have to keep my kids from playing with it.

If they do play with it, I have to hope they don't break it.

If it survives, then I have to locate it after it's played with.

After all of that, I have to remember who it belongs to.

I have to convince myself not to use it, like the wipes. Even though Spencer's had a ton of diarrhea and it's just sitting at my house, forgotten.

I have to talk myself out of justifying why I should be able to use it, I did, after all, feed them lunch and kept my cool as their two year old ate a sucker all over my house...

Then I need to put it in my car.

After which I have to remember to drop it off to the person who left it at my house.

Or hope that it doesn't get lost in the deep recesses of my car.

Or I have to keep it in my house until 'those' people come over.

And still remember to give it to them.

Which I can guarantee you won't happen.

And if, by chance, I do remember to give it back, they'll play it off like: 'Oh, we bought him a new one weeks ago, you can just keep it."

Listen, people, if you come over to my house, please don't leave anything behind, it will be better for you, for me, and for our friendship...

Katie

Adeline

Adeline and I have been getting along pretty well the past couple of weeks.

Except when we play Barbies.

She's a huge pain in the bum.

This is why:

Adeline is a control freak, and kinda mean.

But I fall for it every.time.

We'll be upstairs playing Barbies and Adeline will ask me to come to her fancy ball. Of course, I say yes.

I get all four of my girl Barbies ready. For some reason I'm not allowed to have a boy...anyway....

They look nice. They have on coordinating outfits, their hair is done beautifully, no wall flowers here.

As I'm getting their shoes on, Adeline announces that the ball is about to start and I need to hurry up or I'll miss it.

I frantically finish putting their shoes on and I'm begging Adeline to wait for us and we rush over to the ball.

We have to walk because Meg always gets the car and she's not a fan of carpooling. Something to do with the fact that Belle and Beast need some alone time.

I knock on the door.

The ball is over.

I missed it.

Fine, whatever, I think.

I'm moving on.

Now it's bedtime and I'm getting all of my Barbies in their pajamas and brushing their hair.

They're not even laying down before the cock {Adeline} is crowing for them to get up.

OK, I think, stay calm, she's not doing it on purpose.

We decide the Barbies should go hiking.

{Physical fitness is always a priority in the plastic world, just because they're skinny, doesn't mean they're healthy.}

I decide this time, they're not going to change, I'll just put their shoes on and be done with it.

I'm trying to outsmart Adeline.

I knock on the door.

They're not going hiking.

Didn't I know it was bedtime?

I would rather clean the bathroom than play Barbies with Adeline.

Katie

A True Story about Real Chickens

I love our chickens.

They're super fun to have around and I like watching them waddling around the yard scratching and eating bugs.

But, they're also kind of s-t-u-p-i-d.

Our chicken coop is about seven feet tall, which, if you do the math, is two feet higher than me.

And our chickens are free range. Which means that they are free to roam around during the day, but then come back to the coop to roost in the evening.

Until one night they decided that they didn't want to do that.

They wanted to roost on TOP of the chicken coop.

Stupid birds.

Now I'm out there, and it's pitch black, did I mention? scraping them off with a 2 by 4 and it's like their feet are cemented in place.

Then I go in and retrieve the ladder, climb precariously up and have to manually remove them from their post.

They got locked in for the night....and for three consecutive days.

The girls wanted to know why they couldn't come out and play.

I told them the chickens were in time-out.

Why, the girls asked.

Well, why do you have to take time-outs?

For not listening.

There you go.

I'm an equal opportunity parent.

Rules are rules around here, and you're expected to obey, no matter the breed.

Katie

A Poll

What is the worst candy to get for Halloween?

My answer:

Banana Laffy Taffy

What's yours?

Missing Sleep

Hey:

I'm drowning over here in a sea of sickness and unfinished/half-finished projects.

To cope, I read two books last week.

Don't judge.

I am guest blogging today over at my sister-in-law's blog, Get Your Crap Together:

http://getyourcraptogether.blogspot.com

She's really talented and has a lot of good ideas.

I hope it's not raining over where you are because that would be depressing, much like it is over here.

In other news, I finished Spencer's new changing table and will have pictures to post on Friday.

Talk at you then,

Katie

A Trip Down Memory Lane

The winner is #5: The Ker Family "oatmeal cream pies....nasty!"

(I couldn't get the actual random.org thing to come over to my blog...you'll just have to trust me.)

Some tell-all Facebook posts:

• Well, that was disturbing....just finished sweeping the floors.


• Fortunately, Spencer doesn't seem any worse for wear after Meg snuck him a blueberry....


• Observation: spilling spaghetti sauce all over the kitchen floor due to inappropriate Tupperware protocol will make you want to say words you are led to believe only sailors use.


• Something that I just said and hope to never say again: "Adeline, get out of the chicken coop....


• Feeling optimistic about the day....never mind....just heard the girls wake up


• Thinking of joining a nudist colony...I'm working under the assumption that there would be way less laundry....


• I just saw the most disgusting thing on TV...an infomercial for a meatloaf pan....complete with pictures of meatloaf....it made me throw up a little.


• To all of you obnoxiously, happy people that love Mondays....please stop posting.


• I went to confirm, and it's true. A bird flew into our massive window and now lays dead in the grass. I secretly hope it's the %^*& woodpecker that's been systematically making holes in our house.


• Some days I secretly wish that I was the babysitter and that I'm just waiting for the parents to get here so I can go home.


• Dear Bryce, Please be advised there is a massive dead rat in our basement. I wish you all the luck in taking care of that when you get home, while I shut myself in my bedroom, refusing to witness it.


• Note to anyone interested, do not, I repeat DO NOT Google "pictures of maggots", nightmares....


• Question: how much chocolate is too much chocolate to eat in one sitting...?


• To the zipper on my favorite carpi's...please stop embarrassing me.


• Next time I decide to do family pictures, I'm not inviting the family.


• Just thought I'd throw it out there...does anyone want to supervise my children while I finish my book...?


• Will be accepting "Save the Children" donations...


• Some of you reading this will think Why? Why is she posting something like this? My answer: if I can help one person, just one, it is worth it. A burp cloth and band-aids are NOT a good substitute for a diaper.


• I burnt myself with the curling iron, people. And even if it was something else, and I'm not saying it is, it's perfectly legal since I'm married.


• Congratulations are in order....I just cleaned my oven for the first time. Who buys an oven that's not self cleaning anyway? Stop the madness.


• Married, white, female seeking long term relationship with sanity. Must be willing to commit (until Adeline moves out of the house) and like children. Should enjoy two long busy seasons and dysfunctional family. MUST show up every two years for potty training. Send all inquiries...please.


• LOST: Patience....Last seen - sometime before busy season and potty training. It's a small amount so keep your eyes open for it. If you can't find it but happen to have some chocolate, that's fine too. Please contact me. FOUND - some sticky spots on my kitchen floor. If they are yours, come and get them, I'll be holding them for you. They're certainly not mine!


• I looked it up....apparently today is not National-Husbands-Take-Their-Kids-To-Work-Day-So-Their-Wives-Don't-Cause-The-Kids-Permanent-Bodily-Harm Day. Maybe tomorrow.

Katie

What I Realized....

as I was canning peaches for six hours after the kids had gone to bed and Bryce was out of town on Monday night:

• I'm a little bit afraid of the dark. The kitchen light went out twice.


• Old, squeaky floors make me nervous at 12am in the morning.


• I've watched too many episodes of Law & Order: SVU.


• I'm an eternal optimist...I thought for sure I would be done canning 85 lbs of peaches by 11pm.


• I'm delusional....it took till 2am.


• I'm lazy. I would rather put freezer jam in a quart jar that is clean then walk down stairs to find a pint and then have to clean it.


• I'm not a fan of fruit flies.


• I find my basement a little bit scary.


• Just because you like a certain type of music, that doesn't mean it's great for canning peaches.


• Beatles: not peach canning music. Jon Bon Jovi: peach canning music.


• Ice makers go 'thump' in the night.


• I can come up with a lot of blog post ideas when I have only peaches to distract me.


• I can forget about a lot of blog post ideas when I haven't gotten enough sleep.


• I'm thorough....I did all of the dishes and cleaned up all of the mess before I went to bed.


• I am not a perfectionist....one jar broke in the water bath the first batch and I refused to switch the water....so now all of the jars are sticky.


• Some honey bees....like the one that flew into the kitchen....are completely clueless about the bee curfew.


• If you plan to sleep in the next morning....your kids will wake up earlier than normal.

Katie

A Bit of a Brag

The girls doing a fashion show, working their wood bead and button necklaces

Tuesday started out as one of those days....

The kind where Adeline had wet the bed...not just wet the bed...but managed to pee on every possible layer of bedding....the bedding that I had just washed in full 24 hours previously.

The kind where Meg had eaten something the night before and was feeling a 'little pukey'. I had cleaned up puke from so many different places...did I mention I have a strong reflux muscle?

The kind where I was on the verge of telling Bryce I was switching jobs with him because I was pretty confident that anything I was dealing with was way harder than breaking the news to someone that they owed thousands of dollars in back taxes....

And it was only 8:30am.

But then I bucked up and decided to parent.

I put together some stations for the girls to do.

They were 15 min. each and we had five of them, each in a different part of the house:

Reading

School work with Mom

Craft

Computer games

Puzzle

It was awesome.

I know it sounds like a day care type idea....but let's face it, people, I'm getting to that point.

Sometimes instead of doing a station, Meg just helped me with some household chores....

The girls loved it and have been begging to do it again.

It was a proud moment for me.

Katie

Real Life

The reality is:

• I have nothing fun or exciting to post today.




• I could tell you about the sad disappearance of some fresh strawberries that someone left on the counter well out of reach of any regular two year old.




• I don't have a regular two year old. I have a two year old who is devious enough to realize mom is MIA feeding Spencer and that the only thing that stood between her and some super expensive strawberries that we were saving for yogurt parfaits was....a stool.




• Meg is a liar.




• when she was brought into questioning (with strawberry juice smeared on her forehead and dripping down her shirt) she denied the whole criminal act.




• Spencer has learned to roll over.




• he only roll overs when he is supposed to be napping and can't go to sleep on his back to save his life...or mine for that matter.




• we bought a lot of stuff at a plant nursery which was having a huge sale.




• we came home with 8 blueberry bushes.




• we could by a persimmon tree if we wanted to.




• chickens are really funny, and little bit naughty, kind of like some other people around here.




• Adeline's 'chicken-playing' rights have been revoked till later this week.




• I finally bound two quilts this last week.




• one of those quilts I already put on a bed.....two months ago.




• no matter how early in the day I start laundry or how much I have, it still takes the same amount of time.




• pee, poop, and throw up can make my life a living %&#@.




• I will be renting Jane Eyre from Redbox some time this week.

Katie

Now and Then

This week Bryce and I will be celebrating our eight year anniversary....so if anyone wants to take our kids so we can go out....

I thought I would do a brief comparison of what it our marriage was like back then, and what it is like now:

Then:

(note written to Bryce at the early part of our marriage...warning: extremely mushy)

My Dearest Bryce,

I love you. I am so glad that I married you, you make me so happy.

You've given me things that I lived without just fine before, but will never be able to live without again.

Thank you for your love, patience, goodness, example, righteousness, personality, hard work ambition and sincerity.

I love you with all of my heart.

Your wife,

Katie

Now:

(email sent to Bryce on Friday)

5 reasons why I should not have to fulfill my dinner responsibilities this evening:

1. We have no food in our house because I cannot summon the courage to take four children to the grocery store.



2. Meg took off her diaper and peed in her panties at nap time.



3. She took off those panties and put on new panties and pooped in those panties.



4. I had to clean off Meg's leg, foot, bum, and panties.



5. I hate the Medford Irrigation District.
   

Solution?

Whatever you decide.

*Please note that Bryce came home with dinner, a movie, and ice cream...

Katie

Spencer

If you knew Spencer, you'd know:

• He's never peed on me.


• He has peed over his head, past the edge of the changing table, and into a basket of toys on the floor, but not on me.


• He has also peed in his eye during bath time. The washcloth is now specifically placed over certain areas.


• He loves, loves, loves to get his diaper changed.


• He enjoys a good fist: his fist, your fist, it doesn't matter.


• He's naked from about 3pm till bedtime....it's hot here people.


• He sleeps on his belly.


• He has learned to roll over from his belly to his back, in the middle of the night, and then wakes up crying.


• He is the best baby to date about eating cereal and liking it right off.


• He likes Project Runway.


• He yaks everyday at lunch. We're usually at the school cafeteria taking advantage of the free lunch program. I just tell the lunch ladies that someone spilt some milk.....


• He is a shameless flirt. He likes the older women.


• He takes a pacifier.


• He has a lot of patience.


• He likes taking baths. So much, that on more than one occasion he's stayed in there so long I had to put new hot water in.


• He's been sleeping through the night since he was nine weeks...from about 8pm-7am.


• Sometimes he can go all day with out crying...which is more than I can say about some other people around here.

Katie

It's the Little Things

This is going to be lame.

But I thought all of you devoted bloggers and blog readers out there would like to know:

This has been a monumental day for me.

After reading and writing countless posts, it finally happened.

The security word I had to write today to leave a comment was:

a real word....

fries

the kind of fries that you crave when you're pregnant with your first baby and you're so swollen you're pretty confident you should not consume another milligram of salt but you find reassurance knowing you couldn't gain any more weight if you wanted to so you save your pennies and indulge yourself with fries that are on sale for $1, size large, at Arctic Circle.

Katie