The Happyish Homestead

Friday, April 30, 2010

Social Statistics

I thought I'd favor you all with a well researched and accurate post about stats and percentages in our home.

90% of the conversation is directed to me.

5 out of 5 times it's Adeline that's made Meg cry.

6 times out of 7 I don't want to make dinner.

30% of the time Bryce falls asleep while I'm talking to him in bed.

9 out of 10 times Adeline will throw sand at Elizabeth in the sand box.

1 time out of 52 American Idol will be worth watching this season.

99.1% of the time I'll want to watch a singing and dancing movie.

5 out of 7 nights I'll lose sleep thinking about home improvement plans.

97% of the time I think something could be improved with some paint.

100% of the time I kill annuals, lemon bushes, and lime bushes.

99.9% of the time I'm right.

.1% of the time Bryce is.

92% of the time I lose my patience.

3 out 5 times the kids are good at Hobby Lobby.

6 out 7 times I want a hamburger if we go out to eat.

19 out of 20 days I need to take a nap.

365 hours in the year I waste time on the Internet.

100% of the time I want to go estate selling.

80% of the time I don't have money to.

Every other day I think about cutting my hair short.

92% of the time I feel like a bad mom.

50% of the time I am.

100 out of 100 days it rains I want to stay in and read a book.


P.S. I went to Home Depot and bought some paint, wish me luck!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


Today is Elizabeth's birthday. She's 5 now. I know it's surprising that I can have a child that old and still look so youthful. In honor of this special day, some things that I have learned from Elizabeth:
  • Babies can cry a lot. For like five hours at a time. Right when you come home from the hospital. And your mom who came to help has no advice whatsoever.

  • If you do cartwheels in the house you can injure yourself, furniture, or an innocent bystander.

  • When someone tells you 'no' they can actually mean 'yes'.

  • Barbie songs are just as obnoxious sung at the top of your lungs.

  • Just because something doesn't match, doesn't mean it should prohibit you wearing it together.

  • You can do anything, if you practice.

  • Being generous is always a good thing.

  • Dandelions are beautiful, especially in someone else's yard.

  • Quality is better than quantity.

  • A board game is more fun than a toy.

  • Everything is easier and more fun to do, if you get paid.

  • As long as you vehemently believe you are right, it doesn't matter if you're wrong.

Happy Birthday Lizzie Girl.


Monday, April 26, 2010

Read, pronounced Red

Since I post three times a week (what was I thinking), sometimes, as in most of the time, I run out of ideas. So my dear sister energetically encouraged me to do a post about my 10 favorite books. I'm not a favorites type of person, I don't like to restrict or limit myself, but I can do 10 favorite things. Qualifications: I own them or I would read them at least three times, if I had the time. So here they are, in no particular order.

1. These is My Words by Nancy E. Turner - one word, Jack. I'll love you forever.

2. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas - this man started my love affair with classics and I haven't gone back.

3. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen - this one goes without saying I'm sure.

4. Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy - I own this one, but I probably won't read it again, until I retire. I don't know when I'll have 12 hours in my life to devote to a Russian book.

5. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens - this book took me eons to get into, but so worth it in the end.

6. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - I don't remember who wrote this but it was a pleasant surprise and I really liked the writing style.

7. The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling - I will probably never read these again, it's endless hours invested, but it was fun while it was lasted. She's a genius.

8. Mrs. Mike by Someone - my book is MIA so if you have it please return it.

9. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte - I'm appalled by the number of people who have NOT read this book. Get over your fear and pick it up. It won't replace Pride and Prejudice, they're not even similar.

10. Joy in the Morning by Betty Smith - this is by the same author who wrote A Tree Grows in Brooklyn but it's much happier, and much shorter.

11. The Grand Sophy by Georgette Heyer - this is my new favorite book. It's completely unrealistic and absurd but it's a riot. It is true to the time period though and I don't own it, but if anyone is interested I can send you my address and you can mail it to me, or give me a gift card.

12. The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole aged 13 3/4 by Sue Townsend - the boy writes to the BBC about how to become and intellectual when he is surrounded by un-intellectual people. Need I say more?

See, I couldn't even restrict myself to 10, can you imagine me picking just one?


Friday, April 23, 2010

We're dealing

Dear Friends and Family,

I regret to inform you that one, lime bush, and one, lemon bush, died.

Time of Death occurred sometime this week when no leaves nor evidence of new leaves could be seen.

Resuscitation was attempted in the form of leaving them outside for a couple of days, but to no avail.

We are all devastated and doing as well as can be expected. Please keep us in your thoughts.



Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Just for You

I'm sure many of my readers out there, all 22 of you, have been longing and pining for a true Bell update, this post goes out to all of you.

Bryce: is home!

Katie: is on a massive home make-over. Somewhere along the way I got bored and am ready for a change. If there is anything in my home that you like, there's a pretty good chance I'll give it to you. That may or may not include children. I bought some indoor plants. Please refrain from any snide remarks about this; the plants were on clearance at half price.

Elizabeth: has toned down her indoor cartwheeling fanaticism. She turns 5 (!) next week and really wants to have a friend birthday party and a new big two wheeler. I'm making her a play t-e-n-t. If you want pictures of this event, please donate to the buy-a-new-camera fund.

Adeline: has anyone seen her left foot pink cowgirl boot? Please send it back via priority shipping. I'm hoping it will decrease the number and magnitude of crying bouts in the morning.

Meg: has perfected the art of smearing food into her hair. She also adopted a large, black, West African lady at the store the other day and somehow non-verbally conned the lady into giving her crackers and walking with her around the play area.

Yard: is tired of dandelions. Curse you, neighbors!

Floor: is wondering why it is always sticky.



Monday, April 19, 2010

Things I do as a parent that I shouldn't

I've compiled a list of things that I should notdo as a parent either because it is a bad idea to begin with or because sometimes I still feel like a first time parent.

  • Let my kids help make cookies.

  • Let them run around naked.

  • Left them unsupervised in the bath tub...not Meg. However, no one has fallen asleep or drowned, that I know of anyway.

  • Let them jump on the bed.

  • Let them think that going to the bathroom with the door open is normal.

  • Dress themselves.

  • Allowed them to return a glass dish to the neighbors. (It broke, I'm sure you could have deduced that.)

  • Do their own hair...not Meg, for obvious reasons.

  • Jump in puddles in the street without shoes.

  • Not wear shoes any place but the grocery store.

  • Watch Mama Mia, it's rated PG-13, in case you're wondering.

  • Let them listen to Queen, over and over and over.

  • Take them out of the house.

  • Let them help plant the garden.

  • Left Meg and Adeline alone in the same room without supervision, no, wait, that was my mom, not me.

  • Do crafts with them.

  • Put syrup and powdered sugar on waffles, pancakes, French toast.

Here's to us, trying not to make the same mistakes our parents did,


Friday, April 16, 2010


I'm sure you're all disappointed and feeling neglected because of my post today, but I'm making no apologies...

It's April 16th! Bryce is home, the kids slept in, I went estate saling, I spent way too much money, I got all of my yard work done yesterday, purchased some new shoes, bought some fun fabric for a simple project....

Life is good. (I'll be re-reading this post when the next busy season comes around.)


Wednesday, April 14, 2010


To my mother-in-law, Marie:

Thank you for your helpfulness and generosity. Your good deeds do not go un-noticed. My girls love the stuff that you send them.

About that....

In the future, please consult me before giving Elizabeth a Barbie karaoke CD player with two working microphones. This toy has caused many hitting/throwing matches, time-outs, hurt feelings, tantrums, and headaches.

I would be happy to compile a list of quiet, peaceful toys.

Thank you again for all that you do.



Monday, April 12, 2010

The Other Side

Things I am NOT good at:

  • Being creative with my hair. Never mind that I have a super great hair stylist who lives next door and who is really reasonable.

  • Cutting Bryce's hair. That about ruined our marriage.

  • Growing corn. I don't know what it is, but it's disgraceful. Bryce tactfully said that maybe my time would be better utilized trying to grow something else instead...

  • Making Rice Krispie treats. I've gotten a lot better but desserts you don't have to bake, like No-Bake cookies I'm horrible at.

  • Cleaning the shower. I'm actually quite good at this, but maybe if I feign the opposite, I won't have to do it as much.

  • Couponing. I'm really lazy.

  • Being tactful, I've made too many people cry by this fault.

  • Sending out pictures, either by email or post.

  • Shopping for jeans.

  • Making lasagna. I try doggedly at this also, but it has yet to be a true triumph.
  • Singing. I mean everyone can sing, I just happen to not sing well.

  • Having boy babies, this must be the case, since I don't have any...not that I'm complaining.

Trying to stay humble,


Friday, April 9, 2010

Deep Thoughts

Now some of you out there may think that I'm just a good-looking, wealthy, passionate interior designer, shallow stay-at-home mom, but I hope that this post will prove you wrong.

The people who market tortilla chips and salsa are geniuses. They don't even have to do anything, the products just sell themselves. Here me out on this one.

Let's say, hypothetically, of course, that someone is pregnant with baby #3. And this person is hungry, all.of.the.time. So this person scrounges around for something to eat and lights upon the chips and salsa. Said person pours out some salsa and dumps out some chips. Proportions equal.

Before you know it, the chips are gone, but there is still some salsa. Again this person dumps out some chips, now the salsa is gone but there are still some chips left. So, more salsa is poured. And it goes on and on until the jar and the bag are empty.

Unintentional brilliance.

Wishing I had thought of this,


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Feeling Good

I'm sure the rest of you are not like this, but some days for me are pretty lousy. They are few and far between, but not fun when they come around. So, in an effort to perk myself up, I think of and mentally list all of the things that I am good at. This is that list, compiled.
  • Reading

  • Wearing slippers

  • Eating cereal

  • Taking a shower

  • Bathing my kids - I'm not always calm, but I am efficient

  • Finding random uses for old windows

  • Persuading my husband to build a deck

  • Looking at craigslist

  • Painting - the project doesn't always turn out like envisioned, but it's painted

  • Vacuuming - dusting, not so much

  • Making a great batch of bread sticks

  • Eating chocolate

  • Impatience

  • Thrifting, garage saling, estate saling

  • Walking

  • Trying on shoes at a shoe store

  • Folding laundry - getting stains out, again, not so much

  • Conversing

  • Optimism

  • Good ideas

  • Remembering people's names

  • Being tactless

  • Growing grass in an enamel container on my kitchen table

  • Getting rid of useless and unwanted items from our house

  • Taking out the trash

  • Remembering something about Bryce that I can remind him of at an opportune moment

I feel better already.

Hoping you don't have a lousy day,


Sunday, April 4, 2010

Road Trip Reflections


The following are some thoughts that crossed my mind as I was taking a Yes-I-Am-Borderline-Crazy-To-Take-My-Three-Kids-By-Myself-On-The-Road-To-LasVegas-Because-My-Husband-Is-So-Busy-I-Feel-Like-A-Single-Parent Trip.

Is "rumble strip" the official term for the grated shoulder? (Side note: I knew a girl in high school who thought that those were for blind drivers. What?)

Who in their right mind would live in Sulphurdale, UT? (Another side note: if in fact the town did smell like rotten eggs, at least the people weren't lured in by a false sense of expectation, you know. Not a lot of surprises. No Rose Bud or something.)

After having passed at least six Ranch Exit signs, it dawned on me that Ranch is not the name of the road or town, but it is indeed, a Ranch Exit. I know, I'm an embarrassment to Idaho.

I saw a couple of signs that said "speed is monitored by air craft". Air craft? Like an airplane, or a hovering robot, a Wall-E?

I completely stopped using my turn signal after one hour in. I think its implied when I'm changing lanes and passing you on the right side after riding your bumper because you're going 60 mph in the fast lane.

The only person who doesn't think they're the slow traffic is the slow traffic.

Nose picking - everyone does it, especially in the car. Even Elizabeth. Why do you ask? Because she gets hungry and needs a snack and her nose needs a cleaning. True story.

The thing that amused Meg most in the car? The girls taking off their shoes and licking their feet. Please don't judge, it was out of my control.

Glad to be home,