Friday, October 29, 2010
1. I'm sick.
2. Meg is sick.
3. Adeline is sick.
4. Elizabeth is sick.
5. Bryce is sick. I kind of don't feel too sorry for him, at least he only has himself to take care of.
6. I couldn't find the guts to tell my in-laws that I would rather be watching the season finale of Project Runway than whatever was on TCM.
7. I'm pregnant. I'm at that awful in-between stage where your normal clothes are too small and the maternity clothes are too big.
8. It has rained every.single.day this week.
9. I had a parent/teacher conference about Elizabeth. Apparently she is a genius. I gloated about that for about 2.5 minutes until I came home and said genius was arguing over something trivial with her three year old sister.
10. I need to enstate a no-contact rule between Adeline and the rest of the world, but I'm not sure how to go about doing that.
11. I've read two depressing books about dysfunctional, crazy women and I've lost faith in modern literature. Never mind the fact that these were historical fiction books.
12. I miss Bryce.
13. I miss normalcy - no snide comments please.
14. I miss space.
15. I've devoted a lot of my genius to decorating/planning/remodeling my new house. We close on Monday!
16. I feel bad that I've been lame about blogging, but in all honesty I don't see a change over the next couple of weeks as I work on the new house.
Monday, October 25, 2010
If I weren't a stay-at-home mom with three beautiful children on the brink of buying a really cool old house that needs my love and attention and a wife to the husband I adore, I would be:
- A truck driver. Never mind the fact that I don't know how to drive a stick despite the fact that three different male individuals have attempted to teach me how. Side note: has anyone seen that show about the truck drivers in Alaska? My first thought when I saw that show, maybe if the drivers are trying to traverse scary terrain on the final frontier with flammable material, they should not be distracted by narrating to a camera.
- A commercial actress. You know, the commercials where they have a really crazy, irrelevant dance scene? That would be me.
- Owner of a really cool quilt store.
- The third in that show American Pickers. I just recently came upon it since entering the world of Dish. These two guys go around to different homes and climb through other people's junk looking for stuff to buy and re-sale. It sounds really lame now that I'm typing it out, but it's not, trust me.
- A book critic. Or the person that writes pages of true but boring information at the beginning of timeless books that no one ever reads, unless you're an insomniac.
- A college professor. I would probably be just an adjunct one since I have no interest what-so-ever in doing research and being published. And based on the adjunct teachers I had in college, I could be great.
- A sleep expert. I would travel across the nation putting people's infants on a sleep schedule and charge by the hour. I don't have a plan yet what I would do with all the money, but all in good time.
P.S. If you care, I've been dreaming about paint colors.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I had such an experience in 3rd grade. I was calm and quiet back then. We must of had some free time in the classroom because I wasn't sitting at a desk when the incident occurred.
There were four of us sitting at the back of the classroom where the cubbies were. Two boys and two girls. At the time I probably assumed that was just coincidence, but, looking back, I'm positive it was fate.
We were gathered in a circle. We were singing. The song? The Name Game. Why, oh why, did we think that was a good idea? I guess I'll never know.
Anyway, my turn approached, and I selected a boy out of the circle named Tucker. It seemed harmless enough. I was so short-sighted back then.
Then I began to sing:
Tucker, Tucker, Bo Bucker
Banana Fanana Fo &*^@#!%
And that was it. What more can I say, it speaks for itself.
Monday, October 18, 2010
If I were in charge of the world: a list.
- It would be illegal for a mother to take her 8 year old son into the women's bathroom and he would be imprisoned for peeing all over the toilet seat and not flushing.
- Garage sales would be all year long.
- Blizzards at Dairy Queen would always be on sale for buy one get the second one for $.25.
- Bags would fly free on any airline.
- Dinsneyland Park ticket prices would be substantially lower.
- People would be given a heavy fine for saying inappropriate things to pregnant women.
- I would out law meatloaf as human food.
- Baby showers would be given for every baby.
- Kindergarten would be all day across the nation.
- You would get a tax break for authoring a great blog.
- Kids would be awarded for how many books they read, not how many points they scored.
- Oreos would be fat free, but still taste deliciously fatty. We're talking double stuffed here.
- Kool-aid could be purchase for $.10 a packet, just like in the good ol' days before child obesity issues.
What would you do?
P.S. The inspection went fine. The house is in remarkably good condition despite it's age and run of multiple homeowners. We will proceed as planned, meaning buying the house. Does this sound calm and collected? I hope so, never mind the fact that I've been losing sleep about all the home improvement, home decorating, money that will be spent, and happiness that I'm so looking forward to. Can you put a price tag on space? Yup, and it's substantially less than the asking price.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Bad news: It will be the only for the week.
Good news: Bryce will be in town this weekend.
Bad news: After next week he still has four more weeks of training. Bleh.
Good news: We made an offer on a house.
Bad news: It needs a.ton.of.work.
Good news: We made this really low ball offer for the house and it was accepted.
Bad news: N/A
Good news: Adeline has not wet the bed for like four weeks.
Bad news: Meg will still need to be potty trained.
Good news: This house, was built in 1875.
Bad news: This house, was built in 1875.
Good news: Christmas is three months away.
Bad news: We still have three months till Christmas.
Good news: I have 57 followers.
Bad news: I did have 58. Please do not try to console me by saying insignificant things like: you probably don't want them to be your followers anyway, they're in a better place, it's only because they didn't win a quilt, etc.
Good news: I've read four books in the last five weeks.
Bad news: My children have been sorely neglected, if that's possible with cousins, toys, and grandma always around.
Good news: I had a great time in Idaho.
Bad news: I went horse back riding and don't think my bum will ever forgive me.
Good news: Harry and David have 2,000+ fans on Facebook
Bad news: I'm pretty sure none of that is a direct cause of my efforts.
Good news: I get to start looking at paint colors for the inside of the house.
Bad news: I will be the one doing a lot of painting.
Good news: One of my best friends from college sent me a Facebook message this week and had nothing but flattering exaggerations to say about me.
Bad news: I was lured into a false sense of security about how great I am. What goes up, must come down.
What's your good news?
Good news: I just did a spellcheck, and I had no misspellings. Go me.
If anyone is interested, I will find the link of the real estate listing for the house. We close the first part of November, assuming everything is not horrible with the inspection.
There's another site that had about nine pictures of it, but I was unable to find it. Remember to have lots of vision, lots and lots, when looking at the pictures.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I thought my mini vacation was perfect, I ate a lot, slept a lot and found a number of people, i.e. all of L.A. who would qualify for What Not to Wear.
The other night the girls were asking for stories from my childhood, that is farther away than I think it should be. A lot of the retelling came from when our family moved to 'the country'. I put together a little sample of how you know if you live in the country.
You know you live in the country if:
- you call the nearest largely populated area 'town'.
- you 'rent' movies from your neighbors.
- you can get a horse by working for it.
- the only cell phone reception is by a flagpole, in the parking lot, of the high school.
- prayer is said before each school event.
- there are four generations of a family still living there and you call the oldest one grandma and grandpa.
- directions sound something like this: if you take this road, that has the big haystack, and you turn in after the first dairy, but before the second dairy, right where the line of mailboxes are and you see a fence, that's us.
- you go swimming in your neighbor's milk tank. It had water, not milk, by the way.
- there is all day kindergarten because there's not enough time, money, or people to have the buses leave and come back again half way through the day.
- you're related to someone. Seriously, you can move to a town and not know a soul and within minutes, you've realized you're related.
- there's a row of churches.
- they have a 'parade' on Homecoming through the 'town'.
- one of the bars has the best hamburgers, ever.
- some stores are only open certain hours on certain days, or whatever they feel like doing.
- people know what corn topping, mud bogging, canal swimming, and speeding are.
- someone is driving really slowly, it's a farmer checking out the fields or an illegal.
- your sister and you just move there and you decide to go on a bike ride, and realize your destination is farther than you thought, but you keep going, and on the way home, your sister gets a flat tire and you're still miles from your home, on a deserted road. Oh yes, and you forgot to tell your mom.
- there are rodents shot with a BB gun hanging on fence posts.
- your dog may or may not tree a raccoon up the electric pole in your front yard.
- a block party encompasses a five mile radius.
- most people learn how to drive a tractor and walk all in the same week.
- people leave their car running with the keys in it while they run into the convenience store.
- trucks are called rigs.
- you think one of the best things is to slide down a huge row of manure that's been wrapped in plastic.
Till next week,