The Happyish Homestead

Friday, January 29, 2010

To Whom It May Concern:

I am sure many of you have been wondering why, when I am such an obviously brilliant writer, I have chosen not to take the path most often trod and not started a blog before this week.

Allow me the privilege of illuminating.

1. I did not want to be one of THOSE people who say 'Hey you should read my blog, it's only one post long and I started it 6 months ago, but it's really great.'

2. I am a LIAR. Who would read a liar's blog? But, it's true, I lie. I lie about Christmas, Bryce can ask me a question point blank about a present, and WITHOUT even blinking I can lie to his face. One time I thought it would be fun to lie to my mom about not being able to bring my sister home for Christmas. My sister pulled it off exceptionally well, but in a rare moment, honestly, it was my idea.

3. The whole idea of blogging is self-absorbed, narcissistic, and egotistical. Believing that someone out there will care what's going on with me. Not that I think of all of YOU out there are that way.

4. I am not an eternal optimist. Some people are, and that's great. I do not always like my children, my life is not always great, my kids do not say brilliant, intelligent phrases, my DIY projects don't always turn out, etc., etc., etc. (as said from The King and I).

5. I have never been called Stewart, Martha or any combination of the two.

6. I do NOT have a great camera. My (our, if Bryce wants to claim it) camera is so old, they don't even make a memory card for it any more, you have to press it together in a certain way to make it take a picture, and it's been dropped more times than the ball at New Year's Eve (lame comparison, I know). And we are not a photogenic family, with perhaps the exception of Meg.

7. While I don't think people out there should read this blog, that doesn't mean I don't want them to and wouldn't be hurt if they didn't. (I'm sure that made complete sense.)

Regardless of all of my reservations, I have started a blog (obviously).

Please do a girl a favor and click on the followers button, even if you're a closet reader.


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Changing the World

I would like to apologize in advance. I will try not to use my blog as a stage in which to share my political views in the future. But what I am about to share I feel very strongly about.

I think that it will save children and marriages. I hope that many of you out there feel the same way that I do and will consider calling your congressman. It may perhaps call for an increase in taxes, but, for once, I will feel that my husband's hard earned money will go to something that I feel is worthwhile (as opposed to what our taxes go towards currently).

I think that our government should institute a monthly Fathers-Take-Their-Children-To-Work-So-Their-Mothers-Do-Not-Kill-Them Day.

I am sure some of you remember me pro porting this same idea not long ago. The time has come for it to take effect. (And honestly, the sooner the better.)

I would appreciate all of your support on this front, and I'm sure my children would too. Please take time to consider this carefully, you could aid in changing the world.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A Reply

Dear Katie,

I will keep this brief. At the risk of sounding 'suffocating' please reconsider, I cannot possibly live without you.

While it is true that I have been unfaithful, can you say, in your heart of hearts that you have ever felt neglected?

When you had no one else, you ALWAYS had me. Consistent, and never changing.

I am calm and patient, just waiting for you to notice me.

Don't be hasty and please, no t-shirts,

Yours, forever and always,


Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A Formal Introduction

20 Random Things about Me, Meg

1. I often smell like poop or graham cracker, and sometimes both.

2. On occasion I have been known to smear pancake into my hair, only on occasion.

3. I'm a good sleeper. This might sound slightly braggish coming from my mom, but I
take three good naps a day and sleep for about 12 hours at night.

4. I LIKE meatloaf. This may seem insignificant to some of you, but there are some crazies out there that don't. I have tried it, and I like it. There's something to be said about ground beef, eggs, oatmeal/bread crumbs formed into a loaf that I find tantalizing.

5. I try to fly. I bounce up and down really fast and flap my arms. I have as yet to become air borne, but I try none-the-less.

6. I'm somewhat ashamed to mention this, but sometimes, I still hit myself in the face.

7. I like to eat. It doesn't hurt that my mom is a great cook.

8. I am NOT into scrapbooking.

9. I'm a shameless flirt.

10. I'm going to one up my sisters and learn to crawl.

11. Many people, including the cashiers at the grocery store, have noticed what have often been referred to as my fine eyes.

12. Without fail, I whine every time I get my nose cleaned.

13. I do this adorable little thing when I eat: I squish up my nose and snort, pulsing the boogers in and out. And in an effort to be honest, sometimes the boogers stay out.

14. I like bath time.

15. I'm a good crier and can perform almost on demand.

16. I tell myself that I would be secretly sad if my mom did, in fact, sell Adeline.

17. Sometimes I am forgotten about and left in the high chair, or on the couch, or with Adeline, alone. All very dangerous, in my opinion.

18. I like to be naked. But really, who doesn't?

19. I spit-up, a lot.

20. I do this really neat trick where I don't bend my legs when I'm getting on my pajamas.

Monday, January 25, 2010


Dear Dust,

I am sorry to say, but I am ending things. I know that we have this same talk about every time this year, but this time, I'm serious.

Why? do you ask?

You're unfaithful. I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but I must. I saw you at a friend's house the other day (I won't say who). How could you!

You're suffocating. I give you an inch, you take a mile.

You smell BAD. It's true, you do.

I feel that our relationship has gone stale. It's the same thing, over, and over, and over again.

All you do is take, and all I do is give.

I'm going to start a support group, we're going to have t-shirts, and I'm going to get over you....starting tomorrow, I am kind of busy today.