a confession

my name is katie, and i'm a murderer, almost.

you know those great ideas you have? the ones that pretty much take care of themselves and are worry free? i had such an idea about 10 months ago. this idea cost about $50. an investment, but nothing an accountant's salary couldn't take care of.

then i left and something happened between leaving there and getting home and nothing's been the same since.

there were moments of optimism, when i thought, i can do this. but, honestly, i don't think i can. i'm a college-educated, mostly-capable person - this is not working out for me. i blame myself and i blame the 'illusion' that i was filled with. where was the reality check that so often occurs?

what's worse, i've helped others. i'm really ashamed. i came across someone just the other day with this same idea AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING. how could i? it's bad enough bringing one person down, but to not stop another?

you know that picture at the top....that's the idea. fresh lemons and limes. brilliant, right? that one bush, the one on the left, it's had two leaves for about four months now. it's showing no signs of blooming E.V.E.R. A.G.A.I.N. and the other one, has bloomed about three times now. total number of fruit harvested...zero. maybe they're having an identity crisis, because, i honestly don't know which is the lime and which is the lemon.

i've tried, people, i've tried. i've given them nutrients, i've googled their problems, i've monitored, i've watered.

and that other person? the one i was telling you about? she was going to buy lemon and lime bushes and give them out for Christmas presents. she thought it was an easy, clever idea. i didn't tell her then but i'm telling her now, and all of you, it's a bad idea.